Free excerpt from How to Give Any Woman an Orgasm
THE MASTURBATION EXERCISE
Now it's time to put the preceding exercises together: fantasize and
stimulate yourself at the same time. Use the knowledge you've gained about
your own mind and body to give yourself the most pleasure.
You might want to use fantasy or erotic materials to arouse yourself before
you begin physical stimulation, or vice versa. You might want to play with
your clitoris alone, or stimulate both clitoris and vagina.
Feel free to experiment with sex toys. A sex toy is any object you employ to
pleasure yourself. It could be a commercially produced dildo or a small
zucchini from the supermarket, a clitoral vibrator or a pillow you like to
rub against.
Many women enjoy letting a stream of water from the tub or shower run over
their clitoris. Some women are aroused by rubbing an ice cube against their
nipples or pressing it against their vulvas. Some enjoy masturbating in
front of a mirror. Some are turned on by wearing particular items of
clothing.
In short, each individual is sexually unique. The more you discover your own
unique sexuality, the more pleasure you'll get from it.
This doesn't mean you have to get bizarre or far out. You should do as much
or as little as you're comfortable with.
If you've never masturbated before, or done so rarely or hesitantly, you
will probably need many masturbation sessions before you feel comfortable
enough with self-stimulation to take it all the way to orgasm. You may even
find it boring or unpleasant to masturbate at first. Don't worry about it.
Keep it up. Schedule a regular masturbation session at least three times a
week and try not to spend less than an hour stimulating yourself. With
enough repetition, no act retains its original shock value.
As you become less self-conscious about masturbating, you'll find that each
session is easier and less stressful than the one before. You'll also become
increasingly aware of what feels good to you and do it more automatically.
You'll notice we haven't said anything about how or when to climax. That's
because you will find this out at your own pace and in your own way. The
most important thing is not to climax, but to become excited enough to
climax. When you reach a high enough point of excitement, you'll climax
whether you intend to or not!
After you do climax, be as attentive to yourself as you would want your
lover to be. Don't jump up and get dressed. Don't roll over and go to sleep.
Continue to caress yourself until your spasms and sensations subside. Feel
your clitoris detumesce. Experience your orgasmic afterglow. You may even
find that as you caress yourself you still feel strong sensations. Go with
the flow — you may have one or more additional orgasms.
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Orgasm through vaginal stimulation
In the same way that you taught yourself how to have clitoral orgasms, you
can now move on to vaginal stimulation. For the legion of women who are not
able to reach vaginal orgasm through intercourse (one of the most common
frustrations of men), these are the absolutely essential exercises. If
properly and patiently followed, they will let any woman make the transition
from clitoral to vaginal orgasm. Only when this chasm is crossed can the
highest levels of sexual ecstasy be experienced — the vaginal orgasm being
the deepest, richest, and most satisfying a woman can have.
At first, experiment with penis-like objects that you can insert comfortably
into your vagina, such as the sex toys mentioned above. But don't attempt
vaginal stimulation until you're already aroused. You need foreplay alone
just as much as you do with a partner!
Make sure you're highly aroused — that your clitoris and entire vulva are
swollen and well-lubricated. Continuing to stimulate your clitoris, use your
chosen penis substitute to discover the sensitive areas of your vagina. Try
using different tempos and thrusts. When you're ready to have a clitoral
orgasm, hold your sex toy still so you can feel the vaginal spasms around
it.
Next, experiment with moving the penis substitute during your clitoral
orgasm. See if you can synchronize the sensations so that you can't tell
where clitoris leaves off and vagina begins. The purpose here is to transfer
the orgasmic sensation from the clitoris to the vagina.
Finally, try to have an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. You can
most easily accomplish this by bringing your clitoris to the point of no
return, then stopping clitoral stimulation and finishing off with your penis
substitute. . . .
(Much more in the complete guide.)
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