FREE EXCERPT from Secrets of Performing Great Oral Sex on Women
Basic cunnilingus; or, how to perform fail-safe great oral sex the very
first time.
At last you're at the vulva, but your approach continues to be indirect. In
order to tease and arouse her maximally, you are going to lick her
everywhere but the clitoris.
How you use your tongue is important. For this maneuver, it should be
pointed but not stiff. Facing toward her face, begin at the perineum — the
bridge of skin between the vagina and the anus. Use your tongue-tip like a
pencil point to trace the entire outline of her vulva. (Her vulva should be
spread wide, either because her legs are spread wide or because you are very
gently spreading it with your fingers. This exposure to the air of parts
that are usually hidden is in itself a stimulant.) Run your tongue along
each inner lip, first where it joins the pouty outer lips, then on the
inside edge, but each time stopping short of the clitoris, which by now is
undoubtedly beginning to throb in anticipation of your arrival. As you
disappoint her by darting your tongue away from her clitoris and back down,
she will probably arch her hips upward as a sign that she wants you to lick
her there. If she does, give her clitoris just a quick flick, but
immediately withdraw your tongue and run it back down. This time trace a
straight path between the inner lips, down along the sensitive flesh between
clitoris and vagina. As you reach the urethral area, gently press the point
of your tongue into it and make deep, slow circles. Then slip your tongue
into the opening of the vagina itself. This kind of action serves not only
to stimulate, but to relax and loosen up the entire area, an important
preparation for full arousal.
Your whole mouth can be useful here. Evert your lips — that is, turn them
inside out — so that the moist inner surface is softly kissing and caressing
the vulval area surrounding your tongue.
Now, at last, you can begin your clitoral approach. But you are still going
to be indirect. Run your tongue back up and circle the clitoris, every once
in a while giving it a quick lick, then backing off again. Gradually, your
clitoral licking will become steadier and steadier.
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Further on, we will give you a profusion of tonguing techniques to choose
from, but for now, just be sure not to exert too heavy a pressure. This is
particularly important with a clitoris you don't know well, because if you
keep it light you can't possibly inflict any damage. As she becomes more
aroused she will be able to tolerate more pressure. Also, avoid the tip (the
glans), which may be painfully sensitive, and concentrate on the shaft and
sides. When she is highly excited and swollen, the tip can, paradoxically,
become the source of her most acute and pleasurable sensations.
Don't worry about "guessing" the right moment to lick the tip; she'll let
you know it by her hip movements which will "guide" you there. In fact, her
body movements are your most infallible guide: if she pulls away from you,
go easier. If she pushes toward you, it means she wants more intensity.
As you lick, notice the contours of her clitoris. It probably bulges
slightly toward right or left. As you explore and experiment with different
pressures and rates of speed, take careful note of her reactions. She'll let
you know when you've hit a particularly sensitive spot. But don't be fooled.
Clitoral sensitivities, as we've said, can change from minute to minute and
hour to hour.
DON'T concentrate on any one spot or stroke for too long, for two important
reasons: 1) she'll go numb; 2) the element of unpredictability is one of the
most exciting aspects of cunnilingus. Even if you hit on a spot that drives
her up a wall, she's still anticipating what incredible pleasure is coming
next.
Also, every so often move away from the clitoris and lick elsewhere for a
few moments. This will both intensify the teasing and give it a chance to
recharge to full capacity. One powerful technique is to run your tongue up
and down the length of her inner vulva, so that it stimulates the sensitive
urethral and vaginal openings at the bottom and briefly lights on the
clitoris at the top.
The only exception to the rule against prolonged stimulation is when she's
ready to climax. At this point, just the opposite applies: any break in
stimulation will short-circuit her orgasm and end in frustration.
(Much more in the complete guide.)
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